


we'll meet again when the flowers bloom

by sanguinetti



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F!Shenko - Freeform, F/M, I found this prompt on Tumblr and decided I wanted to suffer, Mass Effect - Freeform, Mass Effect 3, Priority: Earth, Suicidal Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 22:02:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20749451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanguinetti/pseuds/sanguinetti
Summary: I saw a prompt on Tumblr about replacing Shep's love interest with Anderson at the end of ME3 so here we are.





	we'll meet again when the flowers bloom

“Shep, is that you?”

Luca jumped slightly, not expecting to hear Kaidan’s voice. It was soothing in a sense, but frightening because she had no clue what was going on or where he was. At least it was motivation to get moving. 

“Uh, yeah. Are you okay, love?” Luca asked, dragging herself a bit further down the dark passage. 

She looked around, seeing dead bodies piled on the sides of the corridor. Keepers were busying themselves by tending to them. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. This didn't look like any part of the Citadel she'd seen.

“Just a few scratches, nothing serious,” Kaidan told her, keeping his voice as steady as possible. “You don't sound too good though.”

“Getting hit with a reaper beam will do that to you,” Luca replied with a dry chuckle. 

Kaidan sighed. “Where are you at?”

“Just got shot in here, a bunch of dead bodies everywhere, some keepers too,” Luca replied. 

“Yeah, same here.” 

Every single muscle in Luca’s body screamed in protest as she trudged further down the corridor. She could officially say getting hit with a reaper beam was the shittiest thing to happen to her. Physically, at least. She was more worried about the shape Kaidan was in. She knew he was lying when he said it was nothing serious. If he got hit with that beam, he was just as bad off as she was at the moment. 

“You think they’re making a reaper in here?” 

Luca smiled, as painful as it was. She never got tired of hearing his ponderings, even if they were morbid. 

“Sure. Round up some humans and send ‘em up here. Perfect for that.” 

“Yeah, I guess. I’m gonna keep moving, see where I end up. The tubes obviously don’t go on forever but where the heck are we?” Kaidan asked. 

“Couldn’t tell ya. Doesn’t look like any part of the Citadel I’ve seen.” 

It was silent over the comm for a moment, the only sound Luca could hear was the keepers tending to the bodies. It was eerie, Kaidan’s voice being the only thing bringing her comfort at the moment. 

“Whoa! One of the walls here is shifting. There’s a chasm and more hallways.” Kaidan said. 

The wall in front of Luca opened, revealing a door. “I think I’m near an exit.” 

She trudged farther, limping down a ramp covered in husk corpses. 

“I think I found a way to cross over, Shep. Hopefully, I’m coming your way.” 

“ _ Don’t _ get too far ahead of me, please. We can’t know what’s in here.” 

“I’ll be fine. Where are you at?” 

“Just found that chasm you mentioned.” 

“Wait… I see something. A control panel, I think. I’m gonna check-” 

Luca winced as a loud static sound came over the comm. “Kaidan?” 

There was no answer.

“Shit!”

She willed herself to move faster, going up the ramp she was approaching. She wasn’t going to lose him if she could help it. Not that she could do much in her current condition but she’d do anything she could. 

She sighed in relief as she reached the top. Kaidan was standing at the control panel he mentioned, seemingly unharmed. Or so she thought until she got closer to him. He doubled over, stumbling backward a few steps. 

“Kaidan? What’s wrong?” 

He turned around, taking a few steps toward her. “Luca… I can’t- I don’t know-” 

“Seems I underestimated you, Shepard.” 

The Illusive Man, of course he’d be involved in this. 

She closed her eyes, her breathing becoming more and more ragged as she saw black vines in her vision. It felt like they were slowly closing in on her and she felt like she was losing control of her movement. 

“I warned you,” He chastised. “Control is the only way to survive. Control of the reapers and you, if necessary.” 

“Luca? Who’s this?” Kaidan asked. 

“I’m the Illusive Man, Major.” 

“They’re controlling  _ you _ ,” Luca barked. 

“I don’t think so, Commander.” 

“Controlling me is a lot different than controlling the Reapers, dumbass. 

“Have a little faith,” He told her before turning and walking away from her. “When humanity discovered the mass relays… when we learned that there was more to the galaxy than we imagined. There were some who thought the relays should be destroyed. They were scared of what we’d find. Terrified of what we might let in. But look at what humanity has achieved! Since that discovery, we’ve advanced more than the past 10,000 years combined. The Reapers will do the same for us again. A thousandfold. But… only if we can harness their ability to control.” 

Luca’s heart dropped as she felt her arm raise and her gun point at Kaidan. She shook her head, internally screaming at herself to put the gun down. 

“Bullshit! We destroy them or they destroy us.” Kaidan protested. 

“And waste this opportunity? Never.” 

“You’re playing with things that you don’t understand. With power you  _ shouldn’t _ be able to use.” Luca said.

“I… don’t believe that. If we can control it, why shouldn’t it be ours?” 

“That’s the dumbest question I’ve ever heard. You think we’re ready for that kind of power?” 

“This is the way humanity  _ must _ evolve.” 

“There’s always another way,” Kaidan said. “We can find it.” 

“I’ve dedicated my life to understanding the Reapers, and I know with certainty: the Crucible will allow me to control them.” 

“And then what?” Luca asked.

“Look at the power they wield! Look at what they can do!” 

The Illusive Man stepped forward, letting out some kind of power from his hand. Luca’s finger wrapped around and pulled the trigger before she could even get a word out. The world seemed to slow down as the bullet ripped through Kaidan’s abdomen. Luca screamed and let out a choked sob as she watched Kaidan fall to his knees. She knew that hammered the last nail in his coffin. She so desperately wanted to turn her gun on the Illusive Man and then herself, but she could only watch in absolute horror as the love of her life writhed helplessly on the floor. 

“It’s okay, Luca. I'm okay.” Kaidan croaked, giving her a soft smile. 

Normally, the smile would've melted her heart. But with the evident fear in his eyes, he may as well have ripped it out and stomped on it. 

“I forgive you, Shep. It's not your fault, it's okay.”

Typical Kaidan. Reassuring her even in his dying hours. She laughed bitterly as her gun dropped to her side. He deserved so much better. They both did. 

“You see, Shepard? Power like this comes with sacrifices!” The Illusive Man exclaimed as if he just proved a point.

“You’ve sacrificed too much, you piece of shit.” 

She didn’t bother listening as the Illusive Man went on another inevitable monologue. She willed herself to raise her arm one more time and put a bullet through his skull. She took one glance at his corpse before turning her attention to Kaidan. She knew there wasn’t much she could do and she needed to get to that control panel. So she limped past him, pressing a button on the panel to open the Crucible. 

She heard Kaidan groan in pain as he dragged himself back to sit against the center platform. She walked over to him and sat next to him, taking a much-needed break from standing. 

“Nice view, isn’t it?” Kaidan remarked. 

“Sure is,” Luca croaked, as he laid his head on her shoulder. 

“We did it, Shep.” He told her, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Yeah, we did, K.” Luca whispered, leaning her head on his. 

“Gosh… feels like years since we’ve been able to sit down.” 

Luca chuckled. “You forget what we did last night?” 

“No, never will either,” Kaidan said with a soft laugh. “I’m proud of you, Luca. I love you. Promise you’ll keep going after this?” 

“You say that like you’re going somewhere.” 

“Luca… I don’t have long. Please promise me, I know you. You’ll have Garrus and Tali, do it for them if not me.” 

Luca felt tears sting at the back of her eyes. “I… don’t know if I can do that, Kaidan. But I’ll try. I love you so, so much, you know that?” 

There was no reply.

He was gone. 

Hackett came over the comm but Luca couldn’t find it in her to reply. She stared at Kaidan, the fact that he was gone not quite clicking with her. Surely, he was just tired. That was it. 

_ No, it’s not, Luca, get ahold of yourself. _

She closed her eyes, letting out a shaky sigh as Hackett called for her over the comm. 

“Wh-what do you need me to do?” She asked, carefully removing Kaidan from her shoulder. 

“Nothing’s happening. The Crucible’s not firing.” 

Luca wanted to scream, of course it wasn’t. Why would it? Nothing ever went right for her. She pushed herself to her knees, attempting to get up. Her joints screamed in protest and gave out beneath her. She fell forward, catching herself on her forearms. Looking at them, she realized that the beam had burned a lot of the skin off and she was smearing blood everywhere from other open wounds. 

“Must be something on your end.” She heard Hackett say. 

She hissed in pain as she crawled towards the panel. She didn’t even know how to use the damn thing. Kaidan would know what to do, he always did. She couldn’t come up with a reply as Hackett yelled at her over the comm. She could feel her body giving up on her as black spots invaded her vision. She collapsed in front of it, finally giving up. 

A bright light shone in her face as the platform began to rise. She grunted in protest, why couldn’t the universe just let her die already? There was always more to do, she figured. It wasn’t fair to leave everyone to Reapers. 

The platform lead her to what she assumed was the top of the Citadel. She sighed heavily and pushed herself to her hands and knees. She heard soft footsteps and the voice of a child telling her to get up. She pushed herself up and saw the little boy that had been haunting her dreams standing in front of her. He was in holographic form but she had seen him enough times to recognize him regardless. 

Turns out he was the Catalyst itself. Figures. Shit could never be easy, could it? The holograph presented her with three choices to save the galaxy. Destroy, Control, or Synthesis. He claimed Synthesis would be the best choice to ensure humanity’s further evolution. The only catch was that she would have to die. 

Oh, well. 

It was what she’s been wanting for a while now and it would be for the benefit of humanity. No better way to go out she figured. She gazed at the green ray of light for a moment before taking her first steps towards it. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she looked back on her favorite memories with her crew. 

_ “Can it wait for a bit? I’m in the middle of some calibrations.”  _

_ “I am the very model of a scientist salarian. I’ve studied species; turian, asari, and batarian…”  _

_ “Sometimes I’m not sure if the Normandy is a warship or a traveling freak show.”  _

_ “I didn’t survive 50,000 years to die on a ladder!” _

_ “The prayer was not for him, Commander. He has already asked forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish was for you...” _

_ “What would I do without you, Kaidan?” _

_ “You’ll never find out.”  _

Luca smiled as she took her last steps toward the beam. She had lived a short but satisfying life. She wasn’t scared, she’d be meeting her friends and lover on the other side. Kaidan, Thane, Mordin, Ashley, and Legion would be waiting for her with open arms. Garrus would be sorely put out, he’d be waiting a while for that drink. Tali wouldn’t be happy either but they had each other now. Everyone on the Normandy had something to live for, she didn’t anymore.

When their time comes, she’ll be right there waiting. 


End file.
